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A Very Dampe Festivus

(...ew)

It sure is tough being the boss sometimes, eh?

I'll take that as a yes. Yeah, laying down the law is a bummer, being the man is a drag. But sometimes being the boss isn't so bad. Let us consider, as an example, everyone's favorite bosses: The Robot Masters.

All in all, it's a pretty sweet gig. You've got a bitchin' secret evil lair, tons of robotic goons to do your bidding, awesome destructive powers and, one must assume, all the robot honeys falling all over you. Sure, every once in a while Mega Man will make it past the various deathtraps you've laid out for him, but come on! 9 times out of 10 he won't even have the right weapon on hand to defeat you! Barring the occasional energy-tank-related incident, that stupid blue kid wearing his underwear over his pants doesn't stand a chance.

Yeah, being a Robot Master would be pretty damn sweet.

And that's where I come in! Sure, I can't build you your own fortress on top of a flying robotic condor, but I can give you the one thing that every Robot Master needs to get their start in the business: a catchy, low-fi theme song! Here it is, in all its crunchy glory. I give you:

Dampe's Theme
Chunky | Smooth (coming soon)

In this game, you're the star!

Lovingly rendered using only the fewest bits in Pixel's Orgmaker engine, Dampe's Theme tells the world that you are a man (or robot-man) to be feared! Unless someone has the ice-buster, then you're screwed. What's more, it comes with fully optional words! Amaze your friends, strike fear into the hearts of your enemies as you belt out these choice phrases:

(To the melody of the first part)
He's coming to your town
He's got some asses to kick and fools to beat down
Pizza it keeps him strong
Recover energy using parmesan

(Spoken over the second part in a low voice, some echo, ad-libbing is permitted)
Yeeeeeah, he's one bad dude, straight from the electronic ghetto
Don't mess with that or you'll be in a world of hurt, ya dig?

(With the melody as the first part is reprised)
He's got some graves to keep
And if you cross him you'll soon be six feet deep
So keep your noses clean
And stay away from this fighting man-machine

(Spoken over third section)
The D-man cometh to lay down the law
and fools better keeps their heads up and their ears to the ground
'Cause when it's goin' down, you better steer clear
Or Dampe will mess you up with Festivus cheer

(Of course, I leave it as an exercise for the members of Talking Time to record their own versions of the tune with the lyrics. Bonus points if you sound like that Japanese guy who sings the Dr. Wily theme from Mega Man 2.)


	A Very Dampe Festivus (...ew) It sure is tough being the boss sometimes, eh? I'll take that as a yes. Yeah, laying down the law is a bummer, being the man is a drag. But sometimes being the boss isn't so bad. Let us consider, as an example, everyone's favorite bosses: The Robot Masters. All in all, it's a pretty sweet gig. You've got a bitchin' secret evil lair, tons of robotic goons to do your bidding, awesome destructive powers and, one must assume, all the robot honeys falling all over you. Sure, every once in a while Mega Man will make it past the various deathtraps you've laid out for him, but come on! 9 times out of 10 he won't even have the right weapon on hand to defeat you! Barring the occasional energy-tank-related incident, that stupid blue kid wearing his underwear over his pants doesn't stand a chance. Yeah, being a Robot Master would be pretty damn sweet. And that's where I come in! Sure, I can't build you your own fortress on top of a flying robotic condor, but I can give you the one thing that every Robot Master needs to get their start in the business: a catchy, low-fi theme song! Here it is, in all its crunchy glory. I give you: Dampe's Theme Chunky \| Smooth (coming soon) In this game, you're the star! Lovingly rendered using only the fewest bits in Pixel's Orgmaker engine, Dampe's Theme tells the world that you are a man (or robot-man) to be feared! Unless someone has the ice-buster, then you're screwed. What's more, it comes with fully optional words! Amaze your friends, strike fear into the hearts of your enemies as you belt out these choice phrases: (To the melody of the first part) He's coming to your town He's got some asses to kick and fools to beat down Pizza it keeps him strong Recover energy using parmesan (Spoken over the second part in a low voice, some echo, ad-libbing is permitted) Yeeeeeah, he's one bad dude, straight from the electronic ghetto Don't mess with that or you'll be in a world of hurt, ya dig? (With the melody as the first part is reprised) He's got some graves to keep And if you cross him you'll soon be six feet deep So keep your noses clean And stay away from this fighting man-machine (Spoken over third section) The D-man cometh to lay down the law and fools better keeps their heads up and their ears to the ground 'Cause when it's goin' down, you better steer clear Or Dampe will mess you up with Festivus cheer (Of course, I leave it as an exercise for the members of Talking Time to record their own versions of the tune with the lyrics. Bonus points if you sound like that Japanese guy who sings the Dr. Wily theme from Mega Man 2.)